In these tough Obamanonic times, people are opting for shorter vacations or even ‘staycations’ in which they travel locally around their state and enjoy the sites. But our illustrious potentate seems to be doing quite well these days on the taxpayer’s dime! It seems that he has added to his addictions. First, there was smoking, then Kobe beef, and now free vacations!

On July 16-18, the Obama's went on their first taxpayer funded adventure by visiting beautiful Bar Harbor, Maine. The idyllic town has long been favorite summer getaway for the rich and powerful going back to the Gilded Age. Of course, they pinched every penny and made sure that the trip was as cost effective as possible by not wasting additional fuel in carrying their 16 pound dog on the same plane, so they opted to fly the dog out on it’s own airplane (this is not a joke… as much as I wish it were).

The Obama’s will then return for a grueling 2 weeks in Washington, D.C.. After which time, Michelle Obama (Left Tackle, Ohio State) is taking her oldest daughter and several family friends on a "private vacation" to Spain, August 4-8. They will be staying at a cost-conscious La Quinta Inn… Wait, sorry, they're staying at Villa Padierna. I’m sure the American taxpayer will rest easy knowing that they are fiscally responsible enough to suffer through the woeful accommodations. Barack will stay back as his busy schedule of attending parties thrown in his honor by one of his billionaire friends is a task that is just too important not to miss. After all, Americans demand he receive the finest fare to relax him from the burdens he inherited from George Bush.

After that vacation, Michelle Obama (Wide Receiver, Notre Dame) will be forced to suffer the humiliation of staying in the ill-furnished White House for 5 grueling days. It will be a horrible burden to the family. But fear not, wealthy taxpayer, our overworked Teleprompter in Chief will escort the royal family on yet another vacation, Aug. 14-15, to Florida's Gulf Coast. Of course this is of his own free will and has nothing to do with our magnanimous leader’s hypocrisy for telling us to vacation on the Gulf Coast while he himself vacations in Maine. Thank God there is so much surplus money in the government coffers that we can send our glorious King on excursions and journeys that will hopefully ease his tremendous workload.

On Tuesday, the NAACP voted on and passed a resolution calling the grass-roots conservative TEA Party movement “racist.” Ain’t that the pot calling the kettle black! Let’s look at this gross display of ignorance and hypocrisy up close, shall we?

First, the group is called the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People! That’s right, this group has only one primary and stated goal, the advancement of one race… theirs. Doesn’t that seem a little racist to you? They collect money (tax free, by the way) and use it to promote the advancement of a single race. Not Asians, not Jews, not ‘crackers’ as the Black Panther’s respectfully refer to us Anglo’s as, but only colored people.

What about their enrollment? Oh, wait… They only allow blacks into their club. How can this be? I thought we were all created equally and should not be judged by the color of our skin but by the content of our character? Hmmm… I’m no professional race-baiter like Sharpton or Jesse Jackson, but that to me sounds a little bit racist!

Let’s add one more fact to this moronic and hypocritical outrage from this group of hate mongers… They have no proof of any racism within the TEA party! You read that right… no proof!

I do not live in this district, but if I did I would certainly vote for Vernon Parker (right). He is a level headed conservative who has the right message and the right ideas for America. Oh, and he’s smart enough not to fall for this phony BS about racism where none exists simply to try and enhance membership numbers or voter rolls.

“I have not experienced the charges of racism that the NAACP is touting,” Vernon Parker, an African-American tea party congressional candidate in Arizona, told POLITICO.

Parker, former mayor of Paradise Valley, said that he has never felt out of place at a tea party rally because of the color of his skin.

“When I go to tea party events, people don’t look at me any differently,” he said. “They didn’t judge me on the color of my skin, quite frankly, they judged me on my principles."

"The NAACP should be concerned about bringing jobs to people in depressed areas,” he added, “not the tea party.”

Well said, my friend. It’s sad that so many minorities are hell-bent on finding racism around every corner that they can’t see the forest through the trees. Hopefully men like Vernon Parker and Tony Bouie (left), who took the time to go door to door and talk with me and my family about what’s important, will prevail and we can get some good conservative leadership in place for this state and for the country.

Over the last year or so we've been treated to witnessing the myth of Global Warming coming apart at the seams. Cap and Trade looks like it's going the way of the dinosaur (insert GW pun here) and Al Gore is scrambling to keep his income sufficient enough to heat and cool his mansion and fly private jets everywhere he goes. But alas, any shred of credibility he may have had left has now evaporated in light of his little tryst with a masseuse.

Washington Examiner:

The allegation that Al Gore sexually assaulted a woman in a Portland, Ore., hotel room nearly four years ago has dealt a serious blow to the former vice president's story that he and wife Tipper simply "grew apart" after 40 years of marriage.

The masseuse asked Gore what he wanted. "He grabbed my right hand, shoved it down under the sheet to his pubic hair area, my fingers brushing against his penis," she recalled, "and said to me, 'There!' in a very sharp, loud, angry-sounding tone." When she pulled back, Gore "angrily raged" and "bellowed" at her.

Then, abruptly, the former vice president changed tone. It was "as though he had very suddenly switched personalities," she recalled, "and began in a pleading tone, pleading for release of his second chakra there."

“Chakra," in Gore's new-agey jargon, refers to the body's "energy centers," which the masseuse interpreted as having a specific meaning. "This was yet another euphemism for sexual activity he was requesting," she told police, "put cleverly as though it were a spiritual request or something."

We can’t believe it ourselves, but IHBF has been running on our make-shift system for over a year, and we figured it was time for an overhaul. We have updated our Blog software and have turned comments back on. Some nefarious activity exposed loopholes in the previous version that led to us shutting down comments, but now we have Captcha in place and other anti-spam methods and we’re ready to start receiving your comments again!

We’ve got better graphics, better navigation tools, and a friendlier layout. Don’t worry though, you still get our smart-assed tongue-in-cheek commentary with each and every visit… Free of charge.

So be sure to bookmark us and also subscribe to our subscription feed so you get the latest gossip and news with a snarky twist.

I can’t get enough of this. Ever since Milwaukee County Board Supervisor Peggy West graced us all with her overwhelming and conclusive argument on why Milwaukee should boycott Arizona, the jokes keep coming.

Not to miss out on this trend, we sparked up PhotoShop and decided to have a little fun with our favorite geography expert.

I noticed that the YouTube video has been removed, so we had to update the link in our previous post.

Look for the next version of the Garmin GPS which features detailed mapping of states like Calitucky and Nebrakota.

Click on the picture at left to see the full size image! Enjoy.

Remember kids: Arizona is a border state.

From 620-WTMJ
MILWAUKEE - The Milwaukee County Board spent part of the day debating a measure that would call for the county to boycott doing business with companies in Arizona.

There was an odd moment during the debate when Supervisor Peggy West stood up and seemed to be confused about her geography.  "If this was Texas, which is a state that is directly on the border with Mexico, and they were calling for a measure like this saying that they had a major issue with undocumented people flooding their borders, I would have to look twice at this.  But this is a state that is a ways removed from the border," West said during debate.

Her colleague, Joe Rice, quickly corrected her, "I just want to assure my colleague that Arizona does in fact share a border with the country of Mexico."

While speaking at the meeting, West did go on to talk about National Guard troops on the border in Arizona.  West points to that as she tells us that she simply misspoke.

Proof once again that only the uninformed, ignorant, and irrational have issues with SB1070. Maybe the Milwaukee County Board should vote on spending $10 so that Peggy can buy a map and figure out where Arizona is! I know that Milwaukee ain’t the sharpest knife in the political drawer, but to elect a geographically and politically challenged band-wagon jumper with no apparent public speaking skills is pathetic and sad. It’s also pathetic and sad that elected officials for various municipalities have so much free time on their hands that they can waste time droning on and on about a law in another state and how they are deeply ‘offended’ and ‘outraged’. Solve your own damn problems, Milwaukee, and keep your nose out of our business… And buy that woman a map!

Why don’t you guys worry about managing your own state and stop playing to the politically correct crowd. I think your constituents would find those problems more important than worrying about appeasing illegal's in your state.

UPDATE: Jon Kyl sent Milwaukee County Supervisor Peggy West a letter in which he says, "You will be interested to learn that Arizona does indeed share a border with Mexico. I have enclosed a map for your convenience." – Way to go Jon!

Kyl goes on to urge West to, "actually read the Arizona law before forming an opinion about it."

Yes, Peggy, Arizona is a border state! Click the thumbnail on the right to see the full letter from Jon Kyl.

Peggy West Jokes… already?

Peggy West will be facing some stiff competition in her re-election bid. She’s being challenged by a box of hammers.

I seem to remember that a few years ago Peggy West purchased a very nice ocean-view property in Scottsdale. For investment, of course.

More to come…

It’s been 2 months and I guess the anointed one has finally cleared time from his schedule to meet with BP executives. I figure that 2 months of an oil spill is finally sinking in with this rudderless administration and they are finally trying to show leadership… Although I’ve seen better leadership in a flock of lemmings.

On Tuesday, our glorious potentate will grace us with his teleprompter skills and enlighten us all to his grand plan for dealing with the oil spill in the Gulf. My guess is that 99% of it will simply be monetary demands to BP and very little to do with actual measurable and demonstrable results.

Once again, I think it’s great that we have such a glorified and experienced leader that takes immediate 8 week action on a catastrophe this nation hasn’t seen before. God forbid this had been an actual emergency, this country could be in flames and on the brink of total collapse before this empty suit put down his Kobe beef and responded.

Look for Obama’s next televised event where he will outline his plan for dealing with the Indian Ocean tsunami of 2004… Which by the way was Bush’s fault.

I’ve heard this phrase for the last couple of weeks or so, and I’m just as confused as everyone over who originated the remark. It’s a play on words from Tina Fey’s impersonation of Sarah Palin saying “I can see Russia from my house.” It’s amazing how many people think that Sarah Palin actually said those words. BTW, are Tina Fey’s 15 minutes up yet or is she still making abysmally bad TV shows?*

Anyway, I saw Dennis Miller on FOX News and he used the line, giving credit to Arizona Talk Radio personality Barry Young. Barry in turn gave credit to Sarah Palin who in turn gave credit to an anonymous sign holder at a recent rally she attended. To me, the question of who started the phrase is irrelevant. What I’m wondering is “what the heck are we doing to get that message out?”

Caution: Shameless plug ahead! Being the good capitalists we are at IHBF, we took it upon ourselves to once again spark up Photoshop and create a high quality, high DPI image that we’ve put on mugs, shirts, hats, and more. Show the Lib’s that the writing is on the wall by proudly sporting your “I can see November from my house” tee’s and mugs!

* According to Entertainment Weekly, 30 Rock has had consistently lower ratings than Cavemen and Viva Laughlin! Both of which were awesome shows in my opinion. Much better than 30 Rock starring that ‘catcher’s mitt with eyes’ Alec Baldwin.

Last week we were a bit stunned to find out that the Attorney General Eric Holder had not read the Arizona law, despite making the rounds on the Sunday talking head’s shows and spouting his thoughts on it. This week we learn that Arizona’s former governor and favorite seat warmer, Janet Napolitano, has not read the bill either. That didn’t stop her though from spewing her uninformed and ignorant stance on the bill.

"That's not the kind of law I would have signed," she declared.

"I believe it's a bad law enforcement law. I believe it mandates and requires local enforcement and puts them in a position many do not want to be placed in," Napolitano said.

"When I was dealing with laws of that ilk, most of the law enforcement agencies in Arizona at that time were opposed to such legislation," she claimed.

Laws of what ilk, Janet? How do you know it’s a bad enforcement law if you haven’t bothered to read it? This has to be the smartest administration in history if they can absorb information without reading a physical piece of paper. Perhaps you and Eric can skip the next big Wednesday night hoe-down at the White House, order a pizza, and actually read the bill together. It’s always better in a group, Janet, that way you can help each other out with the big words like “Illegal” and “Enforcement.”

Steve Nash, another expert in illegal immigration and it's effects on this state, is proud that the Suns will be sporting their new "Los Suns" attire at tonight's game to show their support for illegal immigration. Personally, I think they're going a little too far:

Isn't it great that a guy who makes millions of dollars for putting a ball in a hoop is suddenly an expert on Arizona's illegal immigration problem? He says that the law is 'not the way to go'. So let me get this straight, Steve, actually enforcing federal law is 'not the way to go'? Maybe Nash should focus on actually advancing in the playoffs instead of petering out in the second or third round like they usually do. The team will have plenty of time for philosophizing next week when they'll be off for the summer.

It's pathetic that the owner thinks it's better to be politically correct than just shut up and dribble the ball. Stop trying to appease and just win something for a change. That will grow your fan-base faster than any politically correct garbage ever will.

Politics doesn’t belong in sports, and the misguided leadership of the Suns are doing more to drive fans away than sway people to go along with their jaded and narrow minded view of this law.

Yahoo news reported a story that only about 50% of the people in this country pay taxes. The other 50% have “no skin in the game” as our benevolent potentate like to say. Here’s two of my favorite sections of the article:

The result is a tax system that exempts almost half the country from paying for programs that benefit everyone, including national defense, public safety, infrastructure and education. It is a system in which the top 10 percent of earners -- households making an average of $366,400 in 2006 -- paid about 73 percent of the income taxes collected by the federal government.

The bottom 40 percent, on average, make a profit from the federal income tax, meaning they get more money in tax credits than they would otherwise owe in taxes. For those people, the government sends them a payment.

Reading these sad statistics made me think of my favorite modern parable regarding taxes and perceived fairness.

Suppose that every day ten men go out for lunch and the tab for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first five men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $13.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.
All for the same meal.

One day, the owner threw them a curve. He said, “Since you are all such good customers, I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily lunches by $20. Food for the ten will now cost just $80.”

The group still wanted to pay their bill the same way we pay our taxes, so the first five men were unaffected. They would still eat for free. But what about the other five men — the actual ‘paying’ customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his “fair share”? They realized that $20 divided by five is $4.00. But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the sixth man would each end up being “paid” to eat his lunch. So the restaurant owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by roughly the same formula based on what was paid, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay!

And so: The first five continued to eat lunch for free (no change).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $13 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $50 instead of $59 (15% savings).

Each of the five who had been paying was now better off than before, and they all still ate the same meal. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings. “I only got a dollar back out of the $20 savings,” declared the sixth man. “It’s unfair that he got back nine times more than I!” “That’s true!!”shouted the seventh man. “Why should he get $9 back when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks!” “Wait a minute,” yelled the first five men in unison. “We didn’t get anything at all. This payment system exploits the poor!” So the nine men surrounded the tenth guy and beat him up. The next day the tenth man didn’t show up for lunch, but the other men sat down and ate without him. When it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something interesting. Between them all they didn’t even have enough money to pay half the bill!

Last week, a picture hit the internet showing a billboard with a friendly George W. Bush waving and asking “Miss Me Yet?” People were blogging and speculating as to whether the billboard, outside of Wyoming, Minnesota, was real or a Photo-shopped prank. Turns out, it was real!

The creators are a "group of small businessmen and individuals who just felt like Washington was against them," according to an employee of Schubert & Hoey Outdoor Advertising. The group also wishes to remain anonymous.

Aside from the clever message, the buzz over the billboard is a clear indication of how vibrant outdoor advertising can become, even in an Internet age.

"They are arguably more relevant than they ever were," says Dave Etherington, worldwide marketing director for Titan, which handles advertising on transit systems around the US. "A key thing about a billboard or a large ad ... it has the power to stop you in your stride that comes from the incongruity of seeing something in a public space where you're not conditioned to expect something."

Forget the ad, the message is something we’ve been saying for several months now. With that in mind, our graphics guy decided to take the public image and create a t-shirt and mug design with the popular slogan. The items are available now through out Cafe Press Store.

I don’t like to use blog postings as a marketing tool, but that picture of Bush with that smile and the slogan fit so perfectly that we just had to take a second and toot our own horn.

BTW: Yes, we do miss the good ol’ days. My mug is on it’s way!

Today the Central Committee is ordering all proletariat members to alert the great and powerful Oz of any dissention amongst the ranks regarding our glorious leader’s gift of free healthcare.

If you have had a conversation with or received e-mails from a kapitalist pig regarding our attempted takeover and outright destruction of the finest healthcare system in the world, please alert the authorities immediately.

“There is a lot of disinformation about health insurance reform out there, spanning from control of personal finances to end of life care.  These rumors often travel just below the surface via chain emails or through casual conversation.  Since we can’t keep track of all of them here at the White House, we’re asking for your help. If you get an email or see something on the web about health insurance reform that seems fishy, send it to flag@whitehouse.gov.” - Macon Phillips, Commissar of Dissention Control.

Let it be known that dissemination of facts and actual reading of the Healthcare Destruction Bill will NOT be tolerated. Such thoughts and opinions have not been approved by Central Command. Continue getting your thoughts and opinions ONLY from state approved propaganda outlets (CBS, CNN, MSNBC, DailyKok, PuffHo, etc.).