var maxfactNo = 30
var factNo
var fact = new Array()
fact[0] = 'Doctors forced to remove Chris Matthew´s leg fearing tingley feeling would spread to major organs.'
fact[1] = 'Obama on Gulf oil spill: "It´s Bush´s fault!"'
fact[2] = 'Obama declares border a quagmire. Sets timetable for withdrawal from Arizona, Texas.'
fact[3] = 'Joe Biden´s forehead upgraded to a FIVEhead.'
fact[4] = 'Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History.'
fact[5] = 'Obama tax return found to contain charitable donation of "Self."'
fact[6] = 'New bill, which allows illegals amnesty if they broke no laws while in US, gains strong support from Hypocrasy Union.'
fact[7] = 'Addition of Obama to Mt. Rushmore put on hold until engineers figure out how to carve a granite halo'
fact[8] = 'New data suggests Michelle Obama is now 38% proud to be an American.'
fact[9] = 'Studies show that anger targeted toward US has dropped. Rev. Wright now claims "GoshDamn America."'
fact[10] = 'Keith Olbermann rushed to hospital after nearly choking on his own smugness.'
fact[11] = 'Rachel Maddow anxious to interview Janet Napolitano. Says interview will happen "Lickety split."'
fact[12] = 'Congress approves funding for Barney Frank translator.'
fact[13] = 'Joe Biden still looking for website number.'
fact[14] = 'Obama says "Terrorist" is offensive. They will now be referred to as "Disgruntled Otherly Motivated Foreign Patriots."'
fact[15] = 'Keith Olbermann admits to pleasuring himself during Obama speeches. Refers to it as "Polishing the POTUS"'
fact[16] = 'To ensure previous mistakes are corrected, Obama orders creation of 7 new states and breathalyzers for all children.'
fact[17] = 'Omnibus bill found to contain $4.8B to study wasteful government spending.'
fact[18] = 'Democrats select 2010 campaign slogan: Death to America.'
fact[19] = 'Outbreak of swine flu traced to pork spending.'
fact[20] = 'Barney Frank cancels scheduled appearance at next Tea Bag Party. Cites "...misunderstanding of event."'
fact[21] = 'New Tanning Salon Tax found to unfairly target white people. Sharpton to lead protest march.'
fact[22] = '"People who are right handed" added to DHS potential threat assessment.'
fact[23] = 'FOX News reports that Obama´s birth certificate not revealed because it does not show a virgin birth.'
fact[24] = 'Bin Laden sends MySpace "friend" request to Obama, citing they both have friends that bombed the pentagon.'
fact[25] = 'Obama: "We must pass second stimulus plan or Capitalism will win!"'
fact[26] = 'New study shows Wall Street losses unfairly target the rich'
fact[27] = 'Bad economy affects Planned Parenthood. "2 for 1" abortion coupons being mailed'
fact[28] = 'Taliban hires DC lobbyist in effort to get Obama´s attention'
fact[29] = 'Angry drug smugglers and human traffickers become latest group to boycott Arizona over immigration law'
fact[30] = 'Peggy West fights back: "Of course I know where the border is... I can see Mexico from my house!"'
factNo = Math.round(Math.random() * maxfactNo)
document.write(fact[factNo]);